I’d like to be much more of a Carpe diem kind of mom. The kind of mom that truly enjoys being interrupted in my tasks to dance, laugh or offer comfort. A mom who delights in stopping and stooping to meet my child in whatever is most important to them in the moment. A mom that is utterly delighted when my grown child messages me right as I am about to move on to the next agenda item of the day. I am moving in that direction yet I have a ways to go.
Two of our sons are officially grown and have flown the nest– ie they have self supporting jobs, with benefits, and pretty much manage all of their affairs. In this day and economy, this is something to truly celebrate. With one of them, the transition is relatively fresh and almost complete. The other day I was communicating a part of the transition plan and he wrote to me the following; “the emails you begin with “since you are now a grown up” or something to that effect are typically less fun than a 16 year old might expect.” I have been enjoying, smiling about and pondering that sentence ever since.
How many of us spend too much time longing for the future? When we are toddlers, we want to be big kids. When teenagers, we want to be adults. We can wish our child’s life away longing for the next stage. When facing an especially busy or difficult week, we convince ourselves that next week will be different…. On the flip side, we can spend tremendous energy and time wallowing in regrets of the past. If only I had, sure wish I didn’t say/do that – this type of thinking gets us mired and stuck and unable to move forward. Living in the here and now and taking in all that this moment has to offer is a challenge. Yet it is a challenge that I want to embrace.
Each day, each moment in life is truly ripe with possibilities to seize, live and sometimes even savor. When my heart and mind are too focused on the to-do list, the agenda, or the mistakes of the past, I can’t live in the present moment. Yes, our minds must go to the past to learn and the future to hope and plan, but the majority of our time is best spent right in the here and now. I desire to live a much greater percentage of life in the present – as if I am slowly sipping and savoring a glass of fine wine.
PS. Just as I was almost finished writing this blog, one of our sweet daughters woke up and came downstairs. Though the temptation was to put her off and finish my writing, I remembered what I was writing about (!) and went to join her face to face in the present moment on the couch. She shared her dreams, her fears and we got to talk about how love can multiply – how we are all capable of loving more than one person at a time. Sure am glad I got that time to be right in the moment with her. If I had put her off, chances are that particular moment would have slipped away, maybe forever.