Ever since I was a little girl, reading has been a great joy. The words take me to far away places and times. I get to help solve mysteries, walk in the shoes of others and think and learn about things that don’t readily come to mind. Books challenge me to ponder deeply and see things from another point of view. In my recent reading of Shadow of the Wind by Carlos Ruiz Zafon, these words jumped out at me – “that book taught me that by reading, I could live more intensely”. That describes so accurately my own longstanding relationship with the written word.
There came a day in my parenting journey when I said “Dorothy, or Tricia, we aren’t in Kansas any more”. I was forced to acknowledge something pretty uncomfortable – despite the then 18 years of parenting experience under my belt, I was in over my head. So where was I to turn? A bibliophile like me being forced to walk down an unfamiliar path would of course start reading about this new place. So for those of you walking a similar path, I’d like to introduce you to a few of my new friends.
The Connected Child by Dr. Karyn Purvis – this was a book that I read before we adopted our daughters but I have probably re-read it 4-5 times since then. We can’t often put things we have read about into practice until it is game time. Reading Dr. Purvis is like having a wise mother or grandmother whisper gentle life giving instructions into my ear on the most difficult days.
The Post Institute – www.postinstitute.com – Bryan Post is one of my favorite guys. The biggest thing I have learned from reading and listening to his work is that on this journey of parenting, I am the one that must address my own issues and be the one to make the changes. So many of the traditional parenting tapes running through my head call out that I must control and make my child change, when in fact the only person I can truly change is myself – we all know that but often forget that in the role of parent. From Fear to Love is a short book that is an introduction point to Bryan Post’s perspective.
Easy to Love, Difficult to Discipline and all things written by Becky Bailey – Becky Bailey is truly my parenting paradigm shift hero. I am grateful for a friend who invited several moms to meet weekly this past year for an incredible time of encouragement and support as we traveled together through a very powerful workbook called Conscious Discipline. Though written for teachers, it is SO applicable to raising all children, and particularly children who have lived through trauma. Becky Bailey has given me the practical tools to live out a different approach as a parent.
Gotcha! Welcoming Your Newly Adopted Child Home: A Guide for Newly Adoptive Parents by Dr. Patti Zordich. This is a great and quick read for anyone who is thinking about, planning or in the early stages of an adoption. It gives very practical steps on how the needs of adopted children are different and how to meet those in the earliest days together.
If you have walked this parenting road, I’d love to hear what resources have offered light and hope to you. There is always room for new friends on the shelves of my library.